Diahann Carroll Left Her Husband In 1963 So She And Sidney Poitier Could Finally Be Together - Then He Changed His Mind

#NOLAZINE - Long before social media exposed celebrity relationships in real time, Hollywood was filled with romances, affairs and heartbreak that the public sometimes didn't learn the full story about until decades later.

One of the most fascinating involved two legendary Black Hollywood stars:

Diahann Carroll and Sidney Poitier.

Today, both are remembered as entertainment pioneers who broke racial barriers at a time when Black actors had extremely limited opportunities in Hollywood.

But behind their historic careers was a complicated love affair that lasted for years.

According to Carroll's own accounts, Sidney Poitier convinced her that they could eventually build a life together. There was one major problem:

They were both married to other people when their relationship began.

Carroll eventually ended her marriage believing Poitier would do the same.

But things didn't happen the way she expected.

They Met While Making “Porgy and Bess”

Diahann Carroll and Sidney Poitier became romantically involved after working together on the 1959 film Porgy and Bess.

At the time, Carroll was married to Monte Kay, a producer and casting figure whom she had married in 1956.

The couple would have one daughter, Suzanne.

Poitier was also married. His first wife was Juanita Hardy, whom he had married in 1950.

That meant the attraction between Carroll and Poitier immediately came with consequences.

Nevertheless, their relationship developed into an affair that would reportedly continue, on and off, for approximately nine years. Carroll later discussed the relationship candidly in her autobiographical writings.

Carroll Said Poitier Wanted Her to Divorce Her Husband

This is where the story becomes especially dramatic.

According to Carroll, Poitier didn't simply tell her that he loved her.

She said he encouraged her to divorce Monte Kay, while indicating that he would also leave his wife so the two stars could eventually be together.

For Carroll, that was an enormous decision.

This wasn't simply a secret Hollywood romance anymore.

Leaving her husband meant changing her family and potentially building an entirely different future around her relationship with Poitier.

Carroll went forward with ending her marriage.

Her marriage to Monte Kay ended in 1962.

But Poitier didn't immediately follow the same path.

Carroll later recalled the disappointment and frustration she experienced when the future they had discussed failed to materialize as promised. Contemporary coverage of her autobiography similarly described Poitier as having reneged on his promise to divorce his wife.

Imagine Being in Carroll's Position

This is what makes the story so compelling decades later.

Imagine being told:

Leave your marriage and I'll leave mine. Then we'll finally be together.

You make the decision.

You end your marriage.

Then the other person doesn't immediately do what they promised.

That's essentially the situation Carroll described.

And because the relationship involved two of the most successful Black entertainers of their generation, the emotional situation was unfolding against the backdrop of extraordinary professional pressure.

Carroll wasn't simply somebody dating a famous actor.

She was becoming a major star herself.

And Sidney Poitier was becoming one of the most important actors in Hollywood history.

Sidney Poitier Eventually Did Divorce His Wife

There is an important detail that sometimes gets lost when this story is retold.

Sidney Poitier eventually did divorce Juanita Hardy.

Their marriage ended in 1965.

So it would be inaccurate to say that Poitier remained married to his first wife forever after Carroll divorced her husband.

But by that point, the relationship between Poitier and Carroll had already endured years of complications.

Carroll's account suggests that the issue wasn't simply whether Poitier eventually became divorced.

It was everything that happened while she waited for the future she believed they had planned together.

There Was Supposed to Be an Apartment and a Future Together

Carroll later revealed even more details about the relationship in her 2008 memoir, The Legs Are the Last to Go: Aging, Acting, Marrying, and Other Things I Learned the Hard Way.

The book openly discussed her relationship with Poitier and other chapters of her personal life.

According to Carroll's account, Poitier eventually told her that he had separated from his wife.

There was even an apartment in New York that was supposed to become part of their future together.

Carroll described preparing for this new chapter, only for the situation to change again.

She said Poitier told her that his wife was reconsidering things and their plans would have to be postponed.

Then another issue emerged.

Carroll's daughter.

According to accounts of Carroll's memoir, when she prepared to move into the apartment with Suzanne, Poitier did not want her daughter living there.

That was obviously an enormous problem.

Carroll wasn't simply Sidney Poitier's girlfriend.

She was a mother.

Any future with her meant accepting that her daughter was part of her life.

Poitier Told the Story Differently

Like many complicated relationships, there were two perspectives.

Poitier also discussed his relationship with Carroll.

According to accounts of his version, he wanted the couple to spend approximately six months living together without Carroll's daughter before immediately creating another family situation.

Carroll refused.

That distinction matters because describing the story simply as “Carroll left her husband and then Poitier didn't want her” leaves out some important details.

There clearly was a serious relationship between them.

The problem was that the relationship became filled with broken expectations, jealousy, disagreements and competing ideas about what their future should look like.

Their Affair Lasted for Years

Despite everything, Carroll and Poitier didn't simply walk away from each other immediately.

Their relationship lasted for roughly nine years.

That alone demonstrates how emotionally complicated it was.

This wasn't a brief Hollywood fling.

They kept returning to one another despite the problems surrounding them.

Carroll would later describe the relationship with remarkable openness.

When discussing Poitier decades later, however, she could also look at the situation with greater maturity. In a 2008 interview, Carroll said they were young and suggested that Poitier's actions reflected how he knew to handle the situation at that stage of his life.

That's an interesting perspective considering everything that happened.

She didn't erase the pain.

But she could eventually look back and recognize that they were two imperfect people making complicated decisions.

Two Black Hollywood Pioneers With Very Human Problems

Their personal story becomes even more fascinating when you consider what both accomplished professionally.

Sidney Poitier became a Hollywood trailblazer.

In 1964, he became the first Black performer to win the Academy Award for Best Actor, after winning for Lilies of the Field.

Diahann Carroll was making history of her own.

She became a Broadway star, winning a Tony Award for No Strings, and later broke major television barriers with Julia.

When Julia premiered in 1968, Carroll became one of the first Black women to headline a network television series in a role that wasn't built around the racist stereotypes historically assigned to Black women on American television.

These were two people changing Hollywood while simultaneously dealing with extremely complicated private lives.

That's what makes their relationship more than celebrity gossip.

It reminds us that historic figures were still human beings.

They experienced jealousy.

They made questionable decisions.

They broke promises.

They fell in love with the wrong people.

And sometimes they hurt people they cared about.

Diahann Carroll's Life Continued

The end of her relationship with Sidney Poitier didn't define Carroll.

She continued building an extraordinary career.

She would later become unforgettable as Dominique Deveraux on Dynasty and received an Academy Award nomination for her performance in Claudine.

Carroll also married several more times during her life.

Poitier eventually found lasting love as well.

In 1976, he married actress Joanna Shimkus, and they remained married until his death in 2022.

Diahann Carroll died in 2019 at the age of 84.

Their romance had ended decades earlier, but because Carroll chose to speak openly about it, the story became part of both stars' complicated Hollywood histories.

Did Diahann Carroll Really Leave Her Husband for Sidney Poitier?

Based on Carroll's own account, there is substantial truth behind that statement—but the full story deserves context.

Carroll said Poitier encouraged her to divorce Monte Kay while promising that he would leave his own wife.

Carroll's marriage ended.

Poitier did not immediately fulfill the promise the way Carroll expected.

He eventually divorced his wife, but by then their relationship had already become incredibly complicated.

And when the possibility of finally living together arrived, disagreements—including Poitier's position concerning Carroll's daughter—created another obstacle.

So this wasn't simply:

Woman leaves husband. Man changes his mind. Story over.

It was a nearly decade-long relationship involving two married people, divorces, promises, jealousy, family considerations and repeated attempts to make an extremely difficult romance work.

A Hollywood Love Story Without a Hollywood Ending

Diahann Carroll and Sidney Poitier looked like they could have been one of Black Hollywood's ultimate power couples.

Both were beautiful.

Both were enormously talented.

Both were breaking barriers.

And both would eventually become legends.

But sometimes two legendary people don't create a legendary relationship.

Carroll ultimately learned that lesson painfully.

She took an enormous chance on the future she believed Poitier was promising her.

That future never became what she imagined.

Yet she survived the heartbreak and continued creating history on her own.

Perhaps that's the most important part of the story.

Diahann Carroll didn't need to become Mrs. Sidney Poitier to become a Hollywood legend.

She became one all by herself.